It’s never easy to confront your weaknesses. In the movies it’s always played up as a big dramatic turning point to stand up and do that, and then everything’s okay. Facing them once makes them go away, and everything’s just fine in the epilogue and the music plays and the credits roll.
In the real world, that kind of personal change doesn’t happen quickly or all at once. It’s not one dramatic moment that shifts how you deal with the world instantly, it’s doing that over and over again. Sometimes it gets easier with repetition, and sometimes it doesn’t, it’s just as hard every time.
This blog is coming up on one year now, and I really don’t know if, on average, it’s any easier than when I started.
Each time I sit down to write here is unique. Sometimes I just bang out 500 words like they were already there just waiting to be typed, others I’m practically screaming with frustration by the second paragraph. I haven’t quite worked out what makes the difference.
Fiction is much, much harder than what I’m doing now, just sitting and typing whatever wanders into my head. It seems like the more structured something is, the harder it is for me to write.
I really should work on that space opera serial some more. The plan there is to have a very solidly developed setting and characters, and then totally improvise the story. I figure I could write one installment a week, or two weeks, or once a month, whatever, and just keep going until I write myself into a corner. Maybe if I just spend, say, 45 minutes every day going through my notes for it and adding a little to them I can be ready to start soon. I’ll give that a try.
Well, that’s all for tonight. Just some random thoughts. Maybe something more interesting tomorrow. Take care everyone.
Well, today’s Daily Post thingy was to pick a topic from yesterday’s list of things you’re afraid to write about and, well, write about it. Nice idea, but leaves me a little light on topics. So I’ll write about learning disabilities and my fear of writing, and the connection between them.
Parents! If you ever hear your child described as “bright but lazy” by well meaning but frustrated teachers, have that kid checked for learning disabilities right away! The sooner you can get them into a program that knows how to work with them, the less it will cast a shadow over the rest of their life.
My learning disability is called dysgraphia.
When I started this blog, it was with the simple goal of forcing myself to write more often, by setting a wordcount goal and expecting myself to reach it weekly. By now it’s clear that this has failed.
In fact, it’s gone so far as to be counterproductive to that goal, as I’ve more than once skipped something because I didn’t want to post trivial stuff until I’d caught up on my requests, or because it would be a short post and it seemed such a pain to maintain the tally for small changes. I’ve now totally lost track, I don’t recall when I last updated the score, so I have no idea how many words I would owe now. I do know that I didn’t post once during the entire month of August, and worse that I’ve been putting off things I might have posted during the last week or two.
So, new rules. For the time being there are no rules. I’ll just write when I feel like it, about whatever subject I have in mind. I’ll probably work out some sort of structure to it later, I’ll certainly try to maintain the “write anything requested” idea, and I’ll update the About page with proper info just as soon as I figure out what that should be. I fully intend to catch up on the Requests someday, but that’s looking like it’s a long way off. Read the rest of this entry