Category Archives: Daily Post
Real Rape
This is not a safe post. The links which follow contain real people sharing their stories of rape, and reading them made me feel seriously sick.
It started here, with one woman telling her story in a blog post. The times she was raped, the results of reporting or not reporting it, the reactions, the fallout. It’s hard enough to read just on its own. And then there are the comments, see people read the comments and felt a need to share their stories. So there are more on that site than just Elyse’s. But see, I didn’t go to the Skepchick site today, I saw that from this post on Pharyngula, which has a large and well-established crowd of commenters, who have also chimed in with their stories.
At this point I’ve read them all. I felt like I had to, like I somehow owed it to these people to read their stories.
And it’s awful.
There are so many of them, and there are so many similarities between them. Elyse talked about “the script”, and how it needs to be rewritten, and after you read ten or twelve of those stories you see her point. Because the parts that are most similar aren’t the rapes themselves, but the attitudes of everyone else. The third-parties, police and friends and family and witnesses, these are where you see the same things over and over. This is where there’s a script people are following.
I don’t have any witty snark or words of wisdom to add. I just feel hollow and sick after reading all those stories. I’m going to finish up here, take a shower, and curl up with a book.
I will, however, first post a few hopefully useful links. Here’s a summary of the Crystal Clear Consent rules that the Pharyngulite Horde are working on, with links to the ongoing discussion and refinement of same. And here’s a link to a useful part of the National Domestic Violence Hotline website which I also found in the comments and thought was worth passing along.
That’s all I have for now. Feel free to comment, but don’t expect me to respond tonight.
Take care of yourselves, and take care of each other.
Book Series Review: The Domain
Hello again! It’s been so long, and I’ve missed writing terribly. Tonight I’m going to talk about The Domain books, by Richard Capwell.
I’ve written before about Richard Capwell’s Witches Bureau of Investigation books, which I enjoyed quite a bit. So when I was perusing free ebooks on Amazon and saw one by the same author, I quickly snagged it. Then I had to go buy book one, as it was book four in the Domain series that had been temporarily marked down to nothing.
Money well spent. I finished the fourth book last night, and now have to wait for the next one.
The Domain is a fantasy series that starts like many others, with people from our familiar world getting yanked into a strange, alien place. In fact it starts out feeling a little cliche, which I suspect the author did on purpose because it starts getting weird pretty fast. It feels to me like a far more “grown-up” story than the WBI, but should be suitable for teenagers or preteens. Read the rest of this entry
Hopefully the last I will write about Prop8
So Prop8 is gone. The plaintiffs were married today in San Francisco, and we’re all a little more American.
I’m having trouble finding words for this, so here are a few pictures. Read the rest of this entry
Mysteries Abound
There’s a strange, fragrant smoke wafting in on the wind from somewhere. It smells vaguely familiar, like something smelled long ago, or perhaps a blend of known scents made strange by their mixture. Sort of a sweet, herbal smell.
I keep thinking one of the neighbors is smoking cheap weed cut with sage or catnip or something.
The smell isn’t really unpleasant, but the smoke is just irritating enough to keep me awake, and that means my mind is wandering. So I’ll write this post that I had in mind a few days ago, a response to a facebook post I saw asking what you would say to God, if you had the chance. I think the person whose status I saw it on said something to the effect of “I’d just want a hug.”
Me, I’d want an explanation.
Read the rest of this entry
I’ve seen a couple of links to this Hyperbole and a Half comic, and I’ve been trying to come up with something worthwhile to say about it. The problem I’m having is that it feels like everything I could say is either clearly stated in the comic itself, or explored far more astutely than I could manage in this blog post.
So I guess all I really have to say with this post is “Go read those two links.”
And you really should. Everyone should. It’s tempting to say something trite like “everyone who has been touched by depression, either directly or indirectly, should read this” or “everyone who has feelings or knows someone with feelings should read this”, but really it’s just everyone. If you’re reading my blog and understanding my words, you should read those both.
My only fear is that a killer deathbot from an advanced, hostile civilization, possibly sent back in time from the future, will google “advice for killer deathbots” and read this post, thus gaining new insight into human stress responses and hastening the doom of humanity with some indirect help from me.
Damn, I never meant to betray humanity.
I keep wanting to pontificate on this, the way I do, but the second link up there is written by someone far better prepared than I to discuss this. I especially like her point that our stress responses are better suited to acute stresses than chronic ones, that struck a chord with me.
Everything else I can think to say is simply too personal for blogging. So I guess there’s nothing else to do here, go read the links.
Loving Oneself
It’s National Masturbation Month in May. That link is so comprehensive that it feels a little redundant to add more to this post, but I haven’t written in a while so I want to at least sum things up.
Masturbation Month was started by Good Vibrations after the firing of U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. Her career as Surgeon General was pretty controversial all the way through, but the final straw was her answer to a question about masturbation, specifically whether it would be appropriate to present masturbation to young people as an alternative to riskier forms of sex. Elders answered:
I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.
…and thus ended her career as Surgeon General.
I don’t really understand the disapproval of masturbation. It’s the safest sex there is, yet it’s often treated as though it were terribly harmful somehow. Kellogg’s corn flakes were created specifically as an anti-masturbation measure, about the same time vibrators were being used as a treatment for “hysteria”.
People are weird.
I’d like to write more about this, but it’s time to get my weekend started now. I’ll try to get at least one more masturbation post up during the merry, merry month of May, but if not I’ll just have to write when time and inspiration coincide.
For now take care of yourself, love yourself, and may the fourth be with you.
Fun song, cheap joke.
So it’s the first of May, and I’m told that outdoor fucking starts today.
I’m skeptical, myself. That would imply that it stopped at some point.
I’m off to drink wine now. Happy Beltane!
“Equal protection”, but some are more equal than others…
Saw this today and I find myself wondering why John McCain wants so badly to live in a fascist dictatorship. That’s the only explanation I can come up with for his statements & actions the last few years, all of which seem to be along the lines of “give the executive branch all the power.”
rape culture
I’ve been thinking I should say something about the Steubenville verdict. Or rather the various reactions to it. It’s a difficult issue to discuss, and it seems like everything I could say has already been said better than I could. But that’s no excuse to hold my tongue.
Searching for a decent argument.
I was going to skip the search term post this month. There was nothing new, nothing we hadn’t seen before, so I didn’t see any point in parading it around.
Then I logged in to blog about something else this morning and saw that somebody had searched for the entire first argument presented by Peter Saunders in his list of ten reasons not to legalize same-sex marriage in Britain. It’s a marvelously weird morning when you log into your dashboard and see this in the recent search terms bar.
throughout history in virtually all cultures and faiths throughout the world, marriage has been held to be the union of one man and one woman. marriage existed thousands of years before our nation began and has been recognized in our laws as the ‘voluntary union of one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others for life’ (hyde v hyde 1866). the un declaration of human rights (article 16) recognizes that the family, headed by a man and a woman, ‘is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the state’. it is not up to governments to redefine marriage – but simply to recognize it for what it is, and to promote and protect it as a unique institution.
Yes. I blogged about this last May, and seeing it again inspired me to take another look at it, not the whole list but just this one argument. Looking up his references makes me wonder if Peter Saunders has actually read the documents he is listing in support of his claims.
This is pretty much how they all sound to me
It just perfectly sums up pretty much every anti-marriage equality commercial I’ve seen.
Vague, pointless melodrama.
random act of kidney
In what sort of third-world hellhole does someone need to start a donation drive so they can afford to donate a kidney to a friend in need?
To be perfectly clear, the actual medical expenses are covered. It’s her living expenses & lost wages while she recovers that she needs. This isn’t trivial stuff, this is major surgery, and she needs to pay her bills.
For some batshit stupid reason people in the United States have decided that having systems in place to ensure that people’s basic needs are taken care of is somehow evil. This means that people can very quickly wind up in desperate straits.
I’ve seen people point to projects like this and say, in effect, “Look, they’ve got it taken care of, see? Public healthcare programs are unnecessary” which misses the point completely. Internet donation drives like this are symptoms of social problems, not solutions. They can’t ensure that people will have their basic needs covered, they can only provide a chance for those with the resources and savvy to start one.
There are a lot of donation drives to help with medical issues on the internet, which makes me wonder how many more people are in similar situations but suffering in silence.
search term highlights
Been so busy I barely noticed that I missed my usual day. I thought about it once on the 15th and probably twice yesterday, but it’s only now that I have both time and presence of mind to do it. So here are the highlights for the last 30 days! As usual, search terms are bold while my comments are italic.
The Adventures of Leo Tarvi 